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Question of the day,
Authenticity, what is it? How do you put yourself
out there? How do we know when we are being authentic or when we are acting the
way society expects us to act? After all we have had some great teachers that
have been taught by great teachers how to kill our truth. Hide that dam joy,
stop acting like a girl.
You will never get anywhere in this life if you
can’t compete with the men. Well baby I competed and I did pretty good. In fact
I proved that I work harder and have less fears than most. Well at least I
pushed past them and got the job done. I look back at some of the positions I
put myself in. Ya, HA HA I got that. But seriously. I walked on a cat walk four
stories up two feet wide with no safety harness. I use to climb the three story
ladder to fix siding while the guy held the ladder because he was too scared to
climb. I proved myself. Which is why I also moved up in the Management
hierarchy.
Move to present day and I am amazed how women over
the past thirty years have competed in this world. Yes I have to use the word
competed because that is what we did. I am now aware that we do not have to
compete in fact competing is what has kept us down. Competing is the negative
side of business. Now yes women have
moved mountains in the past thirty or so years, but I want to say that I
believe that there is a definite shift happening with women in business whether
you are working in a major corporation or are an entrepreneur. The call for
your authentic self is being screamed by the universe and it is so important
that it is heard.
I recently attended an event I was surprised to find
myself at and from that I took a major leap on my journey. As a woman in
business I have found that I deal well with men but have had a hard time dealing
with women. Really I always found it hard to believe too. Until just recently
that is. I took a deep look in the mirror as I was driving around, my soul
mirror, don’t worry my eyes were on the road. I was so amazed how someone
treated me. This woman was a supervisor to me at the moment.
The basic
premise of the conversation was that she had a statement to make and I was
trying to discuss it with her. I was being agreeable, at least I felt I was.
Till I came home and explained the event to my husband and he started to get
upset. I sat there and thought to myself pay attention. I raised my hand to get
my husbands attention and said “really I want to understand this.” So he began
to explain and I have a new perspective. The reason this woman was upset was because
I was in her eyes challenging her. I was not authenticating her power. She
needed to be heard.
I then saw one of the reasons we as women have
difficulty in the workplace. Not that we can’t move up that has changed a lot in
the past thirty years, but how we relate to each other, women and men. Learning
to communicate authentically without taking away another’s power is key. When we listen consciously to what someone is
saying without waiting to be heard ourselves, we empower everyone.
This is where one aspect of our loss of femininity
comes into play. Our natural ability to nurture has been overtaken in the
workplace by the natural Masculine trait of protection. We trade that nurture (listening) for the
protection (hear me roar) in the work place. I would like to challenge women to
take a deep look in their soul mirror at their behaviors and see for
themselves.
In the past when I was in my mind having a
discussion, and the other person was getting upset with me. I felt it was their
problem they just didn’t get it. I was supposed to just listen not respond. Ah
I see so this is an ego problem. I stepped on their ego, that was my
understanding of the situation. Unfortunately that was my weakness, I liked to “discuss”
or let myself be heard. So can you see it was not their ego in the way it was mine.
Yes my sweet little ego getting in the way. Because what I had to say was
important. Damm it, I matter!
Well I have found that there is a much better way.
And especially as women this way is very powerful for us. You want to be
successful? Then learn to listen, really deep understanding listening.
As we move into the next shift of business we will
see more and more women in positions of power. This shift will also be a new
wave of consciousness. We will be doing business in a more authentic way and we
will be amazingly successful at it. Because we will now begin realizing that
using our feminine powers is not a weakness. Being feminine is not a weakness.
Being feminine is being authentic and being authentic is what will lead all of
us women and men to success.
The next question, what is being feminine?
The next question, what is being feminine?
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